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Go With the Flow
You can always update your preferences in the Privacy Centre. Before you continue Going with the flow means sometimes giving up control, not only of the situation, but of other people.
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A situation might become more stressful because of the behavior of another person. Perhaps someone is late to a dinner outing and you have to wait for them to arrive before ordering. You may be at a party where someone is monopolizing the conversation, which is leading you to become frustrated. Why might they be acting the way they are acting? Give them the benefit of the doubt.
Most people are just trying to do their best to be happy. The person might not know that their behavior is being perceived as disruptive. Practice exposing yourself to the unknown. Walk or drive a new way home from work without planning it ahead of time. Go to a new place for lunch.
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The more comfortable you get at putting yourself in situations that are unpredictable, the more easily you will be able to go with the flow no matter where you are. Let go of the idea that things need to be perfect. We may set up an idea of how we want things to go, but rarely do they work out exactly that way. Striving for perfection is striving for something that does not exist.
Focus more on the experience than the outcome. Instead, focus on the method and the joy of each moment, rather than obsessing about the outcome. Avoid seeing yourself as a set of accomplishments.
The things we achieve in life can give us confidence and make us feel good, but it becomes dangerous when we lean too much on them for all our happiness. Think about the other things that give you joy like a sport you play, a hobby you have, or a friendship or relationship you cherish.
Why Going With The Flow Is Wrong
Look at the big picture. Putting things into perspective can be a great tool for helping you go with the flow. If you and some friends planned on seeing a movie only to discover it is sold out when you get to the theater, what is the harm of agreeing to see something else that you may not be as excited about?
Think about what you have to gain by going with the flow. Being surprised can be one of the best parts of life. When you are struggling to go with the flow, ask yourself what new things you may learn or experience by letting go of control. The restaurant you planned to go to is too crowded?
This may force you to try a place you would have never gone to otherwise. Your favorite seat in the lunchroom is taken? This is a great opportunity to expand your role at work and to show how adaptable you can be. It can be difficult to go with the flow if you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious.
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Practicing some deep breathing techniques can help settle your nerves and clear your mind. Try shifting your focus to your breathing for a few minutes. Count your breaths up to seven and then back down again. Do this several times until you start to feel calm again.
"go with the flow" in American English
Live in the moment. Dwelling on things you could have or should have done in the past will only make it more difficult for you to enjoy what is actually happening in your present. Accept that what is happening in this moment is your reality and that beating yourself or spending your time searching for someone to blame is not going to change anything.
Instead, focus on what feels good about the moment. Try to focus on the positives. This type of thinking will only pull you out of the moment and make you feel worse. Keep a journal. Keeping a journal is a really helpful way to keep track of situations where it might be difficult for you to go with the flow. Write down what it is about those moments when you feel like you need to be in control and what makes those moments so difficult for you.
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You can also write down times when you found going with the flow to be easier than usual. What is similar or different about those moments? Be open to the idea that someone else can take control of the situation if need be, and that they might be able to do just as good a job as you when it comes to leading everyone through something like rain on a wedding day, a lost dinner reservation, or a boring board game night.
This will not only help you feel like you can more easily go with the flow, it will take some of the pressure off of you.
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